What is this, this deep, dark secret? KHG can't cook. Not at all. Ok, not 100% true, she can make this really good egg/breakfast casserole. I promise, others have eaten it and it really is good. The other thing she can make is Spanakopita-Greek spinach pie. I actually had a man, who was born and raised in Greece confuse my Spanakopita with his mother's. Not because it was bad, because it was so good!
The other day he called and we decided to eat at my house. He asked if I had all this cooking stuff, like food, and my answer was pretty much no. Thankfully, the Pugilist has quite a bit of patience with KHG.
Now it is here that it becomes rather amusing-he tells me to go to the store and buy chicken. Ok. I can handle that. But then he asks me to get "chicken ties". Uh, what? We go round and round regarding "chicken ties". The only thing I can think of is you know at Thanksgiving, there's something on the turkey that's tied together (or I think there is). So I'm thinking to myself why the hell would he want chicken that's tied together? Is this some strange Italian thing? Now the Pugilist's patience with KHG was starting to wane-and rapidly. I just didn't get what he wanted me to buy. So finally, thanks to the magic of technology (even if it's Apple-more on my intense dislike of Apple in another post, we have chicken to discuss here dear readers!) he says chicken THIGHS! Ah! He then asked for me to buy green beans, too. Ok. Sounds great. KHG can't screw this up, right? Uh, well, wrong.
When I go to the grocery store, at any time, not this once, I seem to freeze. I always get things confused and end up buying all of the wrong items. So I go to the store and start looking for TURKEY Thighs. If we all remember I was supposed to get CHICKEN thighs. For some reason I got Turkey stuck in my head on the 10 minute drive to the store. I ask the butcher to help me pick out some good turkey thighs. He picks some out, I buy the green beans, and I'm off.
The Pugilist shows up that night and asks me why I bought turkey instead of chicken. He also politely asks where the red potatoes, red onion, carrots, garlic and something called bouillon is. I give him a blank look. I was supposed to get all that??? Oh dear. Good thing Vons is right across the street. So I hop into the KHG mobile and zip on over to Vons. And you know I'm going to forget something. Yep. That stuff called bouillon.
I arrive back at Casa de KHG and the Pugilist is waiting. He starts asking me for all this cooking stuff. Now I have pots and pans, but now I'm supposed to have a carrot grater thing? I know I have one, I'm just not sure where it is. As an aside-the Pugilist is quite impressed that I have a meat pounder-I don't think that is what it's actually called but it's that thing that makes meat thinner. I also have lots of other kitchen stuff inherited from my mom.
So I watch in utter fascination as the Pugilist goes to work. He asks if I have white wine-I think he wants a drink-hell I would too after dealing with my ineptitude in buying ingredients. No, he wanted to cook with it. No wine. Thankfully I had a beer-a pilsner-and no, I have no clue as to what that is either. But it seems as though that is good, that I have a Pilsner. Then we come to the bouillon crisis. I forgot to get it. This is where having your closest friend be Mexican comes in handy. They love those bouillon cubes, so I know I have to have some. And voila! I did! I was quite proud of myself, btw.
When the Pugilist cooks, it relaxes him and puts him in a good mood. It should, because he is an amazing, incredible chef. We ended up having a type of stew with turkey thighs (I know, should of been chicken) green beans, carrots, red potatoes, a little garlic, bouillon(!). It was soooooo good.
Now my evil plan is to put him to work. I'll get all the ingredients (I'll make a list or bring the cookbook with me to the store), have him make me all these awesome dishes, freeze them, and then each night eat one. It will be like having my own personal chef:) I know even my goddess, Gwen, couldn't find a chef like the Pugilist.
Now I have to go-KHG needs to finish off those leftovers!
Go out and get yourself a personal chef-ASAP! Payment can be negotiated...;)
With the communication glitches and you're ineptitude in the kitchen why didn't the pugilist buy the ingredients himself? Just asking...
ReplyDeleteGood point:) But since he was cooking and doing the labor, plus he was also coming from work, it was a lot easier for me to get them. But man, did I screw those up! In the end it all worked out though :)
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