Dearest Readers,
It has been 3 months and 2 days since I have written on this blog and so much has happened since then. I have some pretty amazing news. KHG went and fell in love. Yep. Love walked right in her door when she was least expecting it, with a person who couldn't be less like her. And she is 100% head over heels for this one. We've been together since Jan. 21st and things are going strong. That's not to say it hasn't been hard. There have been times when I've thought it was over. But no-he's tough, and he can handle my b.s. and trust me, this girl is a lot to handle. And he's no bed of roses, either. But he makes me laugh until I cry, and his nickname for me? Why that would be "The Commander". Oh yes, he's got my number, that's for sure. When I crawl into bed next to him at night, he might be dead asleep, yet he moves over instinctively and wraps his arms around me tightly to keep me warm. Just as it should be. When I reach out for his hand, he lets me take it and hold it, any time that I want. He isn't much of a talker or a compliment giver, but if I'm late he's on the phone wanting to know if I'm ok. If we are at a party and he hasn't seen me for awhile, he'll come looking for me. This one loves me the way he knows how to love and that is just fine by me. I'll be back dear readers, periodically, to check in and to update. For now, besitos :)
Monday, April 22, 2013
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Dating-2013 Style
So in reviewing this blog last night I've been really, brutally honest with details regarding my life. Eesh. But if I'm going to do this, it isn't going to be half-assed. Including the amount of swearing just in case you were wondering. So I'm going to share with all of you, dear readers, the good, the bad, and the ugly of my dating life. If you are someone who is in my life, your anonymity will be protected via pseudonym. Be assured I only write REALLY nasty things about people I actively dislike! I kid, really. I swear.
So when we last checked in, KHG had just gotten dumped by the Pugilist, had an epiphany that he came into her life to release her from SB, and was puttin' on her lipstick and heading back out into the dating game. Oh Lord, is it a game. A rather brutally nasty one, let me tell you.
Let us remember that KHG is in her very early 40s and has never married and no kids. But the dating pool of men is full of divorced guys with kids. Ok. That's fine by me. I'd like to be with someone who has kids. Then I start thinking about the fact that these potential mates have already failed at being someones mate once (or twice-who knows?) and have made other human beings with their first or second wives-I won't go for a third-and are now back out there looking for mate number two or three. If I think too long about it I feel like my head is going to explode. Why? Because let's say I potentially marry one of them. I'm not only marrying that person but in a way their ex-mates as well. And if there are children then they become my step-kids, which I really do want. Let's just hope that their mother/ex-wife is super cool.
Then I think I'm probably over thinking this, right? Right. Everything will be just fine. I just have to remember to breathe. Then I think to myself Gwen never had to put up with this shit. But she had to corral Gavin Rossdale into marrying her-not an easy task. He was a bit wild back in the day. If that can be accomplished, anything can. Just another reason why Gwen is the consummate goddess with a smokin' hot husband, two beautiful kids and some amazing abs.
So when we last checked in, KHG had just gotten dumped by the Pugilist, had an epiphany that he came into her life to release her from SB, and was puttin' on her lipstick and heading back out into the dating game. Oh Lord, is it a game. A rather brutally nasty one, let me tell you.
Let us remember that KHG is in her very early 40s and has never married and no kids. But the dating pool of men is full of divorced guys with kids. Ok. That's fine by me. I'd like to be with someone who has kids. Then I start thinking about the fact that these potential mates have already failed at being someones mate once (or twice-who knows?) and have made other human beings with their first or second wives-I won't go for a third-and are now back out there looking for mate number two or three. If I think too long about it I feel like my head is going to explode. Why? Because let's say I potentially marry one of them. I'm not only marrying that person but in a way their ex-mates as well. And if there are children then they become my step-kids, which I really do want. Let's just hope that their mother/ex-wife is super cool.
Then I think I'm probably over thinking this, right? Right. Everything will be just fine. I just have to remember to breathe. Then I think to myself Gwen never had to put up with this shit. But she had to corral Gavin Rossdale into marrying her-not an easy task. He was a bit wild back in the day. If that can be accomplished, anything can. Just another reason why Gwen is the consummate goddess with a smokin' hot husband, two beautiful kids and some amazing abs.
Splat
Well dear readers it has been a contemplative time here at KHG HQ. Our last post, we shared with you going out to an actual dinner with the Pugilist. We had discussed the Pugilist coming over and making turkey stew. KHG thought things were going well with the Pugilist.
Let's go back and see, well hear what our muse Gwen has to say:
"You Push and Shove-I take the bait-It's a risky business gonna play it anyway..."
Yep. I took the bait. Knowing it was a risky business but I wanted to play the game. And I did. Play the game that is-and I lost. The Pugilist is no more. Yes, I got dumped. Do you remember in Sex And The City (my straight male readers, if I have any, might want to turn to ESPN"s Sports Center right now because you obviously never watched Sex And The City-my gays stay right there with me please) when Carrie gets dumped via post-it note? Review the above video clip to refresh your memory.
Then watch the second video directly above, which is about what KHG looked like, except she wasn't rockin' a fabulous blow out like Carrie, while she was on the phone with her friends explaining that she had gotten dumped via TEXT! WTF??? I mean seriously? You couldn't actually call me and dump me? Or say it to my face? Did I mention the part where it was me who had to text him because I hadn't heard from him in four days? Look, I never said I was the guy's wife, but when you have contact with someone on a daily basis and then they just bail out for four days, you kind of tend to get concerned. So I guess that was my welcome to the dating world ala 2013. Phew...Deep breath in... And let it out... Ahhhhhh... I feel much better now.
So after being dumped via text, I had to do some thinking. Some rather introspective thinking. I believe people come into our lives for a reason. Don't worry-I'm not going to get all self-help bullshit on you here, just listen. I believe the Pugilist came into my life to release me from Surfer Boy. Remember him? If not, I cover him in the 12/19/12 post-a brief overview of him-He's the one who broke my heart and picked a 65 yr old woman who looks like a real estate agent and buys her pantyhose at the grocery store-the kind that come in a plastic egg.
Anyway, to be set free from SB I had to choose to be happy with someone else. And I did. It was short lived, but I was happy. I was shown great kindness (except for the dumping via text-I'm rather bitter about that), treated like the consummate lady, told I was beautiful about a zillion times and had someone generally enjoy being with me. It was just a fast and furious burn. But it was supposed to be. There will be someone else. I can feel it. Maybe that person will be "The One" or maybe he'll just be another fast burn. Only time will tell. Because trust me, nothing is ever boring around KHG HQ. Ciao.
Let's go back and see, well hear what our muse Gwen has to say:
"You Push and Shove-I take the bait-It's a risky business gonna play it anyway..."
So after being dumped via text, I had to do some thinking. Some rather introspective thinking. I believe people come into our lives for a reason. Don't worry-I'm not going to get all self-help bullshit on you here, just listen. I believe the Pugilist came into my life to release me from Surfer Boy. Remember him? If not, I cover him in the 12/19/12 post-a brief overview of him-He's the one who broke my heart and picked a 65 yr old woman who looks like a real estate agent and buys her pantyhose at the grocery store-the kind that come in a plastic egg.
Anyway, to be set free from SB I had to choose to be happy with someone else. And I did. It was short lived, but I was happy. I was shown great kindness (except for the dumping via text-I'm rather bitter about that), treated like the consummate lady, told I was beautiful about a zillion times and had someone generally enjoy being with me. It was just a fast and furious burn. But it was supposed to be. There will be someone else. I can feel it. Maybe that person will be "The One" or maybe he'll just be another fast burn. Only time will tell. Because trust me, nothing is ever boring around KHG HQ. Ciao.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
An Argentinian Dinner Date...part 1
Like I've said before, KHG has had some pretty god awful taste in men. So it deeply surprised her and made her a bit nervous, in a good way, that the Pugilist wanted to take her out to dinner.
So, the Saturday before Chrsitmas he shows up at my house looking ready to go out to dinner while I'm sitting there in jeans. We go back and forth on what we want to eat, and he decides on Argentinian food. I then tell him I have to go get ready. He looks at me in horror and says "What! You no ready???" I then proceed to ask him how long he was married before. I got a lot of mumbling in Italian as my response. I tell him I'll be 20 minutes, tops. Ok, we all know THAT is a big 'ol lie but still...
Jump in the shower, due all the necessary girl shower stuff. Jump out and then proceed to stand in front of my closet for 15 minutes trying to put an outfit together. This is what I came up with: a long black maxi skirt, Banana Republic grey shell, and this black/white/gray striped shawl thing that has sleeves. I wear it with my 3" black shoe boots, one pearl bracelet and my pearl studs.
As for hair and makeup, I usually have worn my hair up around him, so I decided this evening to wear it down and curly. KHG was blessed with thick, wavy hair (even the Pugilist has acknowledged how much hair I have) and as for makeup I break out the good stuff-NARS.
Now I know I'm getting close to the 40 minute mark, and there's nothing I can do sans getting a plastic surgeon in here to make me look better. I grab my jacket and walk downstairs. I am greeted with "you look beautiful" as he helps put my coat on. And I do feel beautiful, for him, that is. He takes my hand and leads me to the car. He opens my car door, closes it, gets in on his side, and we are off. Like on a real date. Like adults. How very odd...
#####But always in the background I can hear "You Push and Shove, I take the bait, its a risky business gonna play it anyway##### Interpret that as you will dear readers.
Next time, on KHG Argentinian Dinner Date, part 2
So, the Saturday before Chrsitmas he shows up at my house looking ready to go out to dinner while I'm sitting there in jeans. We go back and forth on what we want to eat, and he decides on Argentinian food. I then tell him I have to go get ready. He looks at me in horror and says "What! You no ready???" I then proceed to ask him how long he was married before. I got a lot of mumbling in Italian as my response. I tell him I'll be 20 minutes, tops. Ok, we all know THAT is a big 'ol lie but still...
Jump in the shower, due all the necessary girl shower stuff. Jump out and then proceed to stand in front of my closet for 15 minutes trying to put an outfit together. This is what I came up with: a long black maxi skirt, Banana Republic grey shell, and this black/white/gray striped shawl thing that has sleeves. I wear it with my 3" black shoe boots, one pearl bracelet and my pearl studs.
As for hair and makeup, I usually have worn my hair up around him, so I decided this evening to wear it down and curly. KHG was blessed with thick, wavy hair (even the Pugilist has acknowledged how much hair I have) and as for makeup I break out the good stuff-NARS.
Now I know I'm getting close to the 40 minute mark, and there's nothing I can do sans getting a plastic surgeon in here to make me look better. I grab my jacket and walk downstairs. I am greeted with "you look beautiful" as he helps put my coat on. And I do feel beautiful, for him, that is. He takes my hand and leads me to the car. He opens my car door, closes it, gets in on his side, and we are off. Like on a real date. Like adults. How very odd...
#####But always in the background I can hear "You Push and Shove, I take the bait, its a risky business gonna play it anyway##### Interpret that as you will dear readers.
Next time, on KHG Argentinian Dinner Date, part 2
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Chicken Ties and a Personal Chef...
KHG has a deep, dark secret that she must share with her readers. It is something that she finds deeply embarrassing, but she just can't do it.
What is this, this deep, dark secret? KHG can't cook. Not at all. Ok, not 100% true, she can make this really good egg/breakfast casserole. I promise, others have eaten it and it really is good. The other thing she can make is Spanakopita-Greek spinach pie. I actually had a man, who was born and raised in Greece confuse my Spanakopita with his mother's. Not because it was bad, because it was so good!
So back to the cooking issue. The Pugilist is a trained chef-thank God. And that man can cook. He made me the most amazing Risotto ai frutti di mare (that's seafood risotto in English) I have ever had. That is what is pictured above.
The other day he called and we decided to eat at my house. He asked if I had all this cooking stuff, like food, and my answer was pretty much no. Thankfully, the Pugilist has quite a bit of patience with KHG.
Now it is here that it becomes rather amusing-he tells me to go to the store and buy chicken. Ok. I can handle that. But then he asks me to get "chicken ties". Uh, what? We go round and round regarding "chicken ties". The only thing I can think of is you know at Thanksgiving, there's something on the turkey that's tied together (or I think there is). So I'm thinking to myself why the hell would he want chicken that's tied together? Is this some strange Italian thing? Now the Pugilist's patience with KHG was starting to wane-and rapidly. I just didn't get what he wanted me to buy. So finally, thanks to the magic of technology (even if it's Apple-more on my intense dislike of Apple in another post, we have chicken to discuss here dear readers!) he says chicken THIGHS! Ah! He then asked for me to buy green beans, too. Ok. Sounds great. KHG can't screw this up, right? Uh, well, wrong.
When I go to the grocery store, at any time, not this once, I seem to freeze. I always get things confused and end up buying all of the wrong items. So I go to the store and start looking for TURKEY Thighs. If we all remember I was supposed to get CHICKEN thighs. For some reason I got Turkey stuck in my head on the 10 minute drive to the store. I ask the butcher to help me pick out some good turkey thighs. He picks some out, I buy the green beans, and I'm off.
The Pugilist shows up that night and asks me why I bought turkey instead of chicken. He also politely asks where the red potatoes, red onion, carrots, garlic and something called bouillon is. I give him a blank look. I was supposed to get all that??? Oh dear. Good thing Vons is right across the street. So I hop into the KHG mobile and zip on over to Vons. And you know I'm going to forget something. Yep. That stuff called bouillon.
I arrive back at Casa de KHG and the Pugilist is waiting. He starts asking me for all this cooking stuff. Now I have pots and pans, but now I'm supposed to have a carrot grater thing? I know I have one, I'm just not sure where it is. As an aside-the Pugilist is quite impressed that I have a meat pounder-I don't think that is what it's actually called but it's that thing that makes meat thinner. I also have lots of other kitchen stuff inherited from my mom.
So I watch in utter fascination as the Pugilist goes to work. He asks if I have white wine-I think he wants a drink-hell I would too after dealing with my ineptitude in buying ingredients. No, he wanted to cook with it. No wine. Thankfully I had a beer-a pilsner-and no, I have no clue as to what that is either. But it seems as though that is good, that I have a Pilsner. Then we come to the bouillon crisis. I forgot to get it. This is where having your closest friend be Mexican comes in handy. They love those bouillon cubes, so I know I have to have some. And voila! I did! I was quite proud of myself, btw.
When the Pugilist cooks, it relaxes him and puts him in a good mood. It should, because he is an amazing, incredible chef. We ended up having a type of stew with turkey thighs (I know, should of been chicken) green beans, carrots, red potatoes, a little garlic, bouillon(!). It was soooooo good.
Now my evil plan is to put him to work. I'll get all the ingredients (I'll make a list or bring the cookbook with me to the store), have him make me all these awesome dishes, freeze them, and then each night eat one. It will be like having my own personal chef:) I know even my goddess, Gwen, couldn't find a chef like the Pugilist.
Now I have to go-KHG needs to finish off those leftovers!
Go out and get yourself a personal chef-ASAP! Payment can be negotiated...;)
What is this, this deep, dark secret? KHG can't cook. Not at all. Ok, not 100% true, she can make this really good egg/breakfast casserole. I promise, others have eaten it and it really is good. The other thing she can make is Spanakopita-Greek spinach pie. I actually had a man, who was born and raised in Greece confuse my Spanakopita with his mother's. Not because it was bad, because it was so good!
The other day he called and we decided to eat at my house. He asked if I had all this cooking stuff, like food, and my answer was pretty much no. Thankfully, the Pugilist has quite a bit of patience with KHG.
Now it is here that it becomes rather amusing-he tells me to go to the store and buy chicken. Ok. I can handle that. But then he asks me to get "chicken ties". Uh, what? We go round and round regarding "chicken ties". The only thing I can think of is you know at Thanksgiving, there's something on the turkey that's tied together (or I think there is). So I'm thinking to myself why the hell would he want chicken that's tied together? Is this some strange Italian thing? Now the Pugilist's patience with KHG was starting to wane-and rapidly. I just didn't get what he wanted me to buy. So finally, thanks to the magic of technology (even if it's Apple-more on my intense dislike of Apple in another post, we have chicken to discuss here dear readers!) he says chicken THIGHS! Ah! He then asked for me to buy green beans, too. Ok. Sounds great. KHG can't screw this up, right? Uh, well, wrong.
When I go to the grocery store, at any time, not this once, I seem to freeze. I always get things confused and end up buying all of the wrong items. So I go to the store and start looking for TURKEY Thighs. If we all remember I was supposed to get CHICKEN thighs. For some reason I got Turkey stuck in my head on the 10 minute drive to the store. I ask the butcher to help me pick out some good turkey thighs. He picks some out, I buy the green beans, and I'm off.
The Pugilist shows up that night and asks me why I bought turkey instead of chicken. He also politely asks where the red potatoes, red onion, carrots, garlic and something called bouillon is. I give him a blank look. I was supposed to get all that??? Oh dear. Good thing Vons is right across the street. So I hop into the KHG mobile and zip on over to Vons. And you know I'm going to forget something. Yep. That stuff called bouillon.
I arrive back at Casa de KHG and the Pugilist is waiting. He starts asking me for all this cooking stuff. Now I have pots and pans, but now I'm supposed to have a carrot grater thing? I know I have one, I'm just not sure where it is. As an aside-the Pugilist is quite impressed that I have a meat pounder-I don't think that is what it's actually called but it's that thing that makes meat thinner. I also have lots of other kitchen stuff inherited from my mom.
So I watch in utter fascination as the Pugilist goes to work. He asks if I have white wine-I think he wants a drink-hell I would too after dealing with my ineptitude in buying ingredients. No, he wanted to cook with it. No wine. Thankfully I had a beer-a pilsner-and no, I have no clue as to what that is either. But it seems as though that is good, that I have a Pilsner. Then we come to the bouillon crisis. I forgot to get it. This is where having your closest friend be Mexican comes in handy. They love those bouillon cubes, so I know I have to have some. And voila! I did! I was quite proud of myself, btw.
When the Pugilist cooks, it relaxes him and puts him in a good mood. It should, because he is an amazing, incredible chef. We ended up having a type of stew with turkey thighs (I know, should of been chicken) green beans, carrots, red potatoes, a little garlic, bouillon(!). It was soooooo good.
Now my evil plan is to put him to work. I'll get all the ingredients (I'll make a list or bring the cookbook with me to the store), have him make me all these awesome dishes, freeze them, and then each night eat one. It will be like having my own personal chef:) I know even my goddess, Gwen, couldn't find a chef like the Pugilist.
Now I have to go-KHG needs to finish off those leftovers!
Go out and get yourself a personal chef-ASAP! Payment can be negotiated...;)
Friday, January 11, 2013
Metamorphosis
Dear Readers,
A brief interlude. Yes, most of my poems come to me at 2:40AM or even later. I wake up with them in my head. Odd, I know. But I never said I was the most normal person out there did I? I would love comments on this poem my adorable readers. And remember don't do anything I wouldn't do, KHG's own MOTHER, her very own adorable mother said "Well honey that gives me a lot of leeway" and she said it with a straight face!
We will return to our regular scheduled programming ASAP. Again, comments, PLEASE:)
Metamorphosis
In the most dangerous part
Of my mind
You live
That is where
The panic, that sickening
Panic resides
It lurks in the darkness
Waiting for me
To grow weak
But not this time
For this time
I have learned
Panic only drives
Away
The ones
I care about
I must help myself
I cannot and will not
Lose another
To this insidious
Monster
Time to suck it up
Time to take control
No more wasting time
You will all be shocked
I am so close
I will win
For you see, there is no
More losing
The closest I come to
Winning is when I feel
The cool breeze in my face
The closest I have come to
Triumph is buttoning those
Size 14 jeans
Tears filled my eyes
There is so much
More to come
Have patience
And it shall be yours
Don't miss out
On the metamorphosis
For there is a beautiful
Butterfly
Whose beauty is
On the inside
As well as the outside
Who is making her
Way to the outside
Watch and see
For she shall take
Your breath away
If only you will let her
A brief interlude. Yes, most of my poems come to me at 2:40AM or even later. I wake up with them in my head. Odd, I know. But I never said I was the most normal person out there did I? I would love comments on this poem my adorable readers. And remember don't do anything I wouldn't do, KHG's own MOTHER, her very own adorable mother said "Well honey that gives me a lot of leeway" and she said it with a straight face!
We will return to our regular scheduled programming ASAP. Again, comments, PLEASE:)
Metamorphosis
In the most dangerous part
Of my mind
You live
That is where
The panic, that sickening
Panic resides
It lurks in the darkness
Waiting for me
To grow weak
But not this time
For this time
I have learned
Panic only drives
Away
The ones
I care about
I must help myself
I cannot and will not
Lose another
To this insidious
Monster
Time to suck it up
Time to take control
No more wasting time
You will all be shocked
I am so close
I will win
For you see, there is no
More losing
The closest I come to
Winning is when I feel
The cool breeze in my face
The closest I have come to
Triumph is buttoning those
Size 14 jeans
Tears filled my eyes
There is so much
More to come
Have patience
And it shall be yours
Don't miss out
On the metamorphosis
For there is a beautiful
Butterfly
Whose beauty is
On the inside
As well as the outside
Who is making her
Way to the outside
Watch and see
For she shall take
Your breath away
If only you will let her
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
A First Date at 2AM...Parte Seconda and a Leatherman
Before we get to the second part of the date, here's a little background info on KHG's love life. Picture a highway scattered with broken, bleeding and bruised male bodies. Now picture KHG curled up into a ball in her rather messy room, and you've pretty much got the idea that I suck at relationships or I just pick shitty, non-committal men-yeah I like that better! But as I have hinted at before, 2012 was the absolute worst year of my life, and 2013 is going to be the best. That I swear!
Ok, enough with the Dale Carnegie bull shit. I know what my readers want. So let's do it, shall we? The last time we picked up with KHG and The Pugilist, they had just met in an unnamed restaurant parking lot across the street from the beach and it was fffffffreeeezzzzinnngggg cold outside!!!! So I got out of the car and we introduced ourselves. He also got a rather large bag out of his. Hmmmm...was this the bag he was going to put my dismembered body parts into after he got done raping and murdering me? But then I got a good look into his eyes. Oh yes, roll yours if you'd like, but this guys eyes were kind. He wasn't going to hurt me. Yes, I could see his eyes-it's called streetlights people. But I still kept a good grip on my handy dandy Leatherman.
So he heaved this enormous bag on one shoulder and took my hand with his other (!) and we ran across the road to the beach campground. It was quite dark, and the Pugilist kept quite a grip on my hand. He led me to a series of picnic tables that overlooked the ocean. It was a beautiful night. Clear, with tons of stars in the sky. So I sat down on the picnic bench and watched him unpack the enormous bag. Here is what he pulled out of it:
1. 2 stem glasses for Chardonnay
2. 2 cloth (!) napkins
3. Wine opener
4. Flashlight
5. Bottle of Chardonnay
Now, KHG isn't much of a drinker. She did enough of that for the entire world when she was in her 20s, but the Pugilist swore this was a nice, smooth Chardonnay so what the hell? He uncorked it perfectly and poured me a rather full glass. He then poured himself one. I tasted it and it went down nice and smooth. Mmmmm....now I don't know much about good wine, but I know THAT was damn good wine!
So we sat on the picnic bench, overlooking the ocean talking. He was somewhat straddling the bench, and I, being a lady (ok, not so much) was just sitting. He asked if I was still hungry and I said yes. He jumped up and rummaged in that bag again. By this time, I'd had most of the glass of Chardonnay and was feeling quite good, so if he was going for the ax he was going to murder me with, at least I'd die with a good Chardonnay in my belly. But no, it wasn't an ax. He told me to close my eyes and open my mouth (oh where have I heard THAT before) but I did. It was some type of toasted cracker with something sweet spread on it. I couldn't identify the sweet spread though. After I got done chewing and swallowing he asked if I knew what was on the cracker. I told him I didn't have a clue. His answer? Nutella! WTF? I thought Nutella was supposed to be awful. Let me tell you dear readers, it ROCKS!!! I then reached over to pour myself another glass of that fantastic Chardonnay, and the Pugilist firmly. yet politely, removed the bottle from my hand. Oh dear. Had I had too much already? Nope. "A Lady NEVER pours her own wine". Well ok then! Pour away sweetie!
So let us recap here-the guy brings an amazing Chardonnay, stem glasses, and food? Who is he? Some undercover spy for the male species? Oh, and it gets better. You have to remember it is FREEZING outside. Even he is kind of shaking. So, we talk and talk and talk and talk...KHG kind of talks a lot, as does the Pugilist. At one point, he shines the flashlight in my face, as if to take a better look. That kind of freaked me out. Being temporarily blinded isn't too fun.
So finally after talking each others ears off, he asked me if he could kiss me. The hysterical part? At the exact moment he asked if he could kiss me, I saw a shooting star in the sky (he couldn't see it because his back was turned) so of course that caused a bit of an interruption to the first kiss, but it was so damn funny. I could just make out the look on his face when I said "Hey! There's a shooting star". His face just fell. Poor guy. So I took his face in my rather cold hands and kissed him gently on the mouth. And after all the frogs or The Frog I kissed this past year, I got to kiss a prince. An Italian one at that.
Now dear readers, be off. Go find a prince or a princess to kiss. I promise you won't regret it...Ciao.
Ok, enough with the Dale Carnegie bull shit. I know what my readers want. So let's do it, shall we? The last time we picked up with KHG and The Pugilist, they had just met in an unnamed restaurant parking lot across the street from the beach and it was fffffffreeeezzzzinnngggg cold outside!!!! So I got out of the car and we introduced ourselves. He also got a rather large bag out of his. Hmmmm...was this the bag he was going to put my dismembered body parts into after he got done raping and murdering me? But then I got a good look into his eyes. Oh yes, roll yours if you'd like, but this guys eyes were kind. He wasn't going to hurt me. Yes, I could see his eyes-it's called streetlights people. But I still kept a good grip on my handy dandy Leatherman.
So he heaved this enormous bag on one shoulder and took my hand with his other (!) and we ran across the road to the beach campground. It was quite dark, and the Pugilist kept quite a grip on my hand. He led me to a series of picnic tables that overlooked the ocean. It was a beautiful night. Clear, with tons of stars in the sky. So I sat down on the picnic bench and watched him unpack the enormous bag. Here is what he pulled out of it:
1. 2 stem glasses for Chardonnay
2. 2 cloth (!) napkins
3. Wine opener
4. Flashlight
5. Bottle of Chardonnay
Now, KHG isn't much of a drinker. She did enough of that for the entire world when she was in her 20s, but the Pugilist swore this was a nice, smooth Chardonnay so what the hell? He uncorked it perfectly and poured me a rather full glass. He then poured himself one. I tasted it and it went down nice and smooth. Mmmmm....now I don't know much about good wine, but I know THAT was damn good wine!
So let us recap here-the guy brings an amazing Chardonnay, stem glasses, and food? Who is he? Some undercover spy for the male species? Oh, and it gets better. You have to remember it is FREEZING outside. Even he is kind of shaking. So, we talk and talk and talk and talk...KHG kind of talks a lot, as does the Pugilist. At one point, he shines the flashlight in my face, as if to take a better look. That kind of freaked me out. Being temporarily blinded isn't too fun.
So finally after talking each others ears off, he asked me if he could kiss me. The hysterical part? At the exact moment he asked if he could kiss me, I saw a shooting star in the sky (he couldn't see it because his back was turned) so of course that caused a bit of an interruption to the first kiss, but it was so damn funny. I could just make out the look on his face when I said "Hey! There's a shooting star". His face just fell. Poor guy. So I took his face in my rather cold hands and kissed him gently on the mouth. And after all the frogs or The Frog I kissed this past year, I got to kiss a prince. An Italian one at that.
Now dear readers, be off. Go find a prince or a princess to kiss. I promise you won't regret it...Ciao.
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