A First Date at 2AM...Parte Seconda and a Leatherman

Before we get to the second part of the date, here's a little background info on KHG's love life.  Picture a highway scattered with broken, bleeding and bruised male bodies.  Now picture KHG curled up into a ball in her rather messy room, and you've pretty much got the idea that I suck at relationships or I just pick shitty,  non-committal men-yeah I like that better!  But as I have hinted at before, 2012 was the absolute worst year of my life, and 2013 is going to be the best.  That I swear!

Ok, enough with the Dale Carnegie bull shit.  I know what my readers want.  So let's do it, shall we?  The last time we picked up with KHG and The Pugilist, they had just met in an unnamed restaurant parking lot across the street from the beach and it was fffffffreeeezzzzinnngggg cold outside!!!!  So I got out of the car and we introduced ourselves.  He also got a rather large bag out of his.  Hmmmm...was this the bag he was going to put my dismembered body parts into after he got done raping and murdering me?  But then I got a good look into his eyes.  Oh yes, roll yours if you'd like, but this guys eyes were kind.  He wasn't going to hurt me.  Yes, I could see his eyes-it's called streetlights people.  But I still kept a good grip on my handy dandy Leatherman.

So he heaved this enormous bag on one shoulder and took my hand with his other (!) and we ran across the road to the beach campground.  It was quite dark, and the Pugilist kept quite a grip on my hand.  He led me to a series of picnic tables that overlooked the ocean.  It was a beautiful night.  Clear, with tons of stars in the sky.  So I sat down on the picnic bench and watched him unpack the enormous bag.  Here is what he pulled out of it:

1.  2 stem glasses for Chardonnay
2.  2 cloth (!) napkins
3.  Wine opener
4.  Flashlight
5.  Bottle of Chardonnay

Now, KHG isn't much of a drinker.  She did enough of that for the entire world when she was in her 20s, but the Pugilist swore this was a nice, smooth Chardonnay so what the hell?  He uncorked it perfectly and poured me a rather full glass.  He then poured himself one.  I tasted it and it went down nice and smooth.  Mmmmm....now I don't know much about good wine, but I know THAT was damn good wine!

So we sat on the picnic bench, overlooking the ocean talking.  He was somewhat straddling the bench, and I, being a lady (ok, not so much) was just sitting.  He asked if I was still hungry and I said yes.  He jumped up and rummaged in that bag again.  By this time, I'd had most of the glass of Chardonnay and was feeling quite good, so if he was going for the ax he was going to murder me with, at least I'd die with a good Chardonnay in my belly.  But no, it wasn't an ax.  He told me to close my eyes and open my mouth (oh where have I heard THAT before) but I did.  It was some type of toasted cracker with something sweet spread on it.  I couldn't identify the sweet spread though.  After I got done chewing and swallowing he asked if I knew what was on the cracker.  I told him I didn't have a clue.  His answer?  Nutella!  WTF?  I thought Nutella was supposed to be awful.  Let me tell you dear readers, it ROCKS!!!  I then reached over to pour myself another glass of that fantastic Chardonnay, and the Pugilist firmly. yet politely, removed the bottle from my hand.  Oh dear.  Had I had too much already?  Nope.  "A Lady NEVER pours her own wine".  Well ok then!  Pour away sweetie!

So let us recap here-the guy brings an amazing Chardonnay, stem glasses, and food?  Who is he?  Some undercover spy for the male species?  Oh, and it gets better.  You have to remember it is FREEZING outside.  Even he is kind of shaking.  So, we talk and talk and talk and talk...KHG kind of talks a lot, as does the Pugilist.  At one point, he shines the flashlight in my face, as if to take a better look.  That kind of freaked me out.  Being temporarily blinded isn't too fun.

So finally after talking each others ears off, he asked me if he could kiss me.  The hysterical part?  At the exact moment he asked if he could kiss me, I saw a shooting star in the sky (he couldn't see it because his back was turned) so of course that caused a bit of an interruption to the first kiss, but it was so damn funny.  I could just make out the look on his face when I said "Hey!  There's a shooting star".  His face just fell.  Poor guy.  So I took his face in my rather cold hands and kissed him gently on the mouth.  And after all the frogs or The Frog I kissed this past year, I got to kiss a prince.  An Italian one at that.

Now dear readers, be off.  Go find a prince or a princess to kiss.  I promise you won't regret it...Ciao.