A New Start?

12/19/12

At my advanced age, I should have some type of career, but I haven't.  Ok, I'm not THAT old but I've never found anything that I loved.  I want to spring out of bed in the morning and go to a job that I adore.  Work with people who are awesome.  I then remind myself that I am not Gwen Stefani, and I'm not going to kiss Gavin, Kingston and little Zuma and hop in the car to go write bitchin songs with my all guy band :(  And you know what?  THAT JUST SUCKS.  So I've got to come up with something else.  Yes, I love to write, and I have made some money off of it.  But trust me, I'm barely making my rent off of it.  And the bitch of it is, I love it.

What I love the most is writing poems.  I know.  <groan>  A poet.  I'm really going to rake it in wrting poetry, aren't I?

Now dear readers, I suppose an explanation of the title of this blog is in order.  Yes, I live in California.  In the interest of not having all of my fans/groupies/stalkers/serial killers come find me, I cannot disclose what city I do live in.  Let's just say it is a pretty damn boring one.  But "Kali" doesn't stand for California.  Kali stands for: "Anyone?  Bueller?  Bueller?" ok.  I will put you out of your misery and tell you.  Kali is the Hindu Goddess of destruction.  Yep.  But she doesn't destroy people, she destroys fear.  And that is what I need in my life-to destroy the fear I have regarding the fact I have zero, zippo, nada self confidence.

So now you are so wondering what "Hawkeye" stands for.  Now do we all know States nicknames?  Why no KaliHawkeyeGirl we don't.  Please tell us!  The Hawkeye State is <drum roll please> IOWA!  Can I get a WOOT!!!  Oh yeah baby.  It's all corn fed around here.  Ok, ok.  I think I'm funnier than I really am.   It's an ongoing problem in my life.  My parents were born and raised in Iowa and from the time I was an infant until I was 13 every summer we lived back there.  I know what you're thinking.  Iowa?  They lived in Iowa?  Yep.  My parents bought a house back in their howetown (population 8,000) which caused one hell of a scandal and here we came.  So here's a trivia question:  What movie is this from?

"Is this Heaven?"  "No, this is Iowa".  But to two little girls from California, Iowa was heaven.  If you know the answer, please leave it in the comments section and I might even send you a copy of the movie!

By this point, I am sure you have either A. Stoppped reading this drivel, B. Puked from the nostaglia or C. Have fallen totally in love with this blog and will become a loyal reader.  I'm hoping for C, but think it might be A.

Now dear readers, I have a confession to make.  I joined one of those dating sites Monday night.  My hair stylist talked me into it.  You see,  this past year, well since Oct 20, 2011 but whose counting, I've been in love with someone who has a teeny, tiny problem-he doesn't love me.  We've known each other for years, but hadn't seen one another in 15yrs.  Dumb me found him on Facebook (which might be the most evil thing ever created by man-or the coolest.  I'm undecided on that one).  Well, Surfer Boy (we'll just call him SB for short, okay?) swore to me upside down and backwards it was done with his girlfriend and I ate it up with a spoon.  And of course it wasn't.  The worst part?  He's in his late 40s, and she's 65 YEARS OLD.  It took me a long, long time to get it through my rather dense skull that he's with her for her money.  That just breaks my heart.  Why you ask?  Because I gave my love, something that is truly precious, to a man who is more interested in using some old hag for her money than accepting my love.  It would be too difficult to do so.  Oh it's easy to take, but to give is another matter, and he can't do it.  And I'm still in love with the fuck!

So yesterday morning, I went out to coffee and breakfast with this guy on the dating site.  We'll call him Mr. Marketer, or MM for short.  MM is a bit touchy for me-as in he wants to touch every part of my body.  Now that would be fine, but on a first date at 630AM?  Uh, I'm not sure about that.  I was very polite after the date and texted him that I had fun and if he had time to please email me.  Did I get an email?  Nope.  Am I pissed?  Kinda, kinda not.  Here at KaliHawkeyeGirl Headquarters (KHG HQ for short) we try and give people the benefit of the doubt.  Ok, that's a total lie, but it is something I'm trying to do.  Maybe MM was super busy.  Maybe he got hit by a bus?  Or maybe he didn't like me.  Who knows?  Who cares?  Oh yeah.  I do.

So back to this job bullshit.  This morning at 930AM, I have an interview for a temp job that I really need.  Thank God last night I went through my emails, because I didn't think I'd heard from the lady who is to interview me, because on Monday she'd said the interview would be on Wednsday but I never saw an email from her.  Somehow, I missed the email.  I found it at 415AM and the interview is at 930.  I might be looking a bit blearly eyed, but lemme tell ya folks-I can sell ice cubes to Eskimos and I can nail this interview.  So I will tell you what happens when I know.  I'm sure you will all be sitting on pins and needles waiting to hear.

'Till next time-be good, but never be THAT good.

-KHG